Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My grad school essay

Recently I read a post by FSP on what to write and what NOT to write in a grad school essay. It bothered me for several reasons. The most obvious reason I was bothered is because I definitely wrote some of the things she specifically suggested not to in my grad school essays. It has been milling about in my head for a while and I think I am bothered by her suggestions because while they do seem very appropriate, sensible and even agreeable to me now, I know I could not have sincerely written something like that when I applied to grad school.
I now realize, as I have matured and experienced life, that my reasons for doings things have changed. I am now much clearer on the type of career I want (academic) in order to pursue my passions, as such I could now sincerely write the type of grad school essay recommended by FSP. But at the time I applied to grad school, I was clear on what I was passionate about and what the source of my motivations were, but I did not have a clear career path in mind. Rather, grad school was an opportunity that met, more than any other path, my unconventional goals.
With hindsight, I can now see that I have consistently pursued science, freedom, and adventure. So looking back, perhaps if I had confidence and clarity, I probably would have written something that included such ideas as:
I love the natural world, and want to investigate it on a chemical/molecular level.
I want to be a scientific explorer. I need to combine the adventure and challenge of field work with exciting, novel lab work to explain natural phenomena and to understand human impacts on geo-processes.
I aim to do all this following the style, success and inspiration of the likes of Susan Solomon, Richard Feynman, Earnest Schackleton, and R.F. Scott.

That sounds pretty starry-eyed and idealistic, but it is true. And most importantly, I feel like that IS what I do. I have been all over the world for field work, and I have used the sweetest instruments for experiments and sample analysis. I'm no Susan Solomon or E. Shackleton, but they do inspire me daily.
I don't remember what exactly I wrote for my grad school essay, I think it had some elements of the sentiments above combined with some standard stuff like lab experience, etc. I doubt an essay that included those sentiments would have gone over very well. I now have the sense not to write something like that for my faculty application research statements. I now realize that in order to get the job that allows me to continue on as a scientific explorer, I have focus on my scientific strengths and not my personal motivations (which have not changed!).

What I will look for in a grad school essay when I am a PI... ?? Will I expect young scientists to write letters that conform to my current thinking on why people should go to grad school and do research? Or will I be open to understanding that their views may change, as mine did?

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